


The Great Cloud Strife Fanclub

by Rellanka



Series: A Year Of Cloudy Skies [23]
Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Crack, Fanclub Shenanigans, Fluff, M/M, Spoiler: Reno isn't dreaming, or is he..., you get to decide!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23955361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rellanka/pseuds/Rellanka
Summary: Everyone loves Cloud. (There’s a club.)
Relationships: But those are the mains, Cloud Strife/Tseng, Everyone/Cloud Strife, Jessie/Cloud Strife, Reno/Cloud Strife, Roche/Cloud Strife, Rude/Cloud Strife, Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Series: A Year Of Cloudy Skies [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697269
Comments: 16
Kudos: 434





	The Great Cloud Strife Fanclub

“What the actual fuck are we doing here, yo?” Reno asked as he leaned his head back to stare at the banner hanging over the door cheerfully proclaiming, ‘Enter If You Adore Him!’ with a blown up picture of Cloud Strife’s face under the words. Which was real fuckin’ odd, because Reno knew for a fact that this was regularly a classroom where they usually taught army cadets.

Rude shuffled slightly in his place at Reno’s side, the nonverbal equivalent of anyone else’s “I have no fucking idea.” when the door swung open and Reno and Rude were being ushered in by the Avalanche chick with the red ponytail. 

“C’mon in, I promise we don’t bite! Well. Unless you’re Cloud, and you’re into that sort of thing!” She said merrily, dragging them into the room before they could protest- or even react to someone from Avalanche suddenly being present in the building, what the fuck?!

But when they actually got into the room, it got worse.

Reno typically viewed himself as a pretty cool character despite others insisting he was not, but even his jaw dropped as he surveyed the group of people inside. All of the known Avalanche agents, sans the man whose face was resting over the door they’d just passed through, were inside. Including the big guy with a gun for an arm, and hadn’t Reno seen the guy curse Strife out on video? (The guy was a tsundere type, apparently.) Aerith was sitting next to them, waving to both Reno and Rude with a cheerful smile. 

And was that… was that _Andrea Rhodea_ sitting in the corner, form surrounded by some of his bees?! 

But that wasn’t the real issue. The real issue wasn’t even Roche, the motorcycle obsessed 3rd class fucker that Shinra had sent to **kill** Strife. 

No, the real issue was shittin’ **Sephiroth** , standing at the front of the room as cool as you pleased as he regarded Reno and Rude’s entrance with narrowed and venomous eyes. 

“Welcome to the Cloud Strife Fanclub!” Ponytail said cheerfully, apparently oblivious to the fact that Reno and Rude were currently in the midst of panicked heart attacks, “I’m Jessie, the Treasurer. Biggs over there is the Secretary.” Another Avalanche member raised his hand in a careless wave, “And in front we have Sephiroth, our President.” Sephiroth nodded coolly as his eyes remained fixed on them both, “And you two are in luck that you came today! As new members, you get a welcome gift of hand-made, custom Cloud plushies to take home with you and enjoy during all the lonely, lonely days that you don’t get to spend in Cloud’s presence. These are limited edition, and running out fast!” 

Reno and Rude’s shocked eyes swung away from Sephiroth and back to the woman before them as she offered them something soft and golden. 

Reno gazed down at the little dolls, actually impressed at the level of detail that had gone into making them. They were made in a sort-of anime style, but they still somehow managed to capture the absolute beauty of Strife in those moments when the light hit him just right and you could do nothing but stop and stare. Reno’s fingers itched to grab one and he was firmly using all of his will to keep himself from darting his hand out because there was no way that he was going to be trapped in this damn nut house, when he watched, betrayed, as Rude’s hand reached out and carefully picked one up. 

Reno’s jaw dropped again, and he turned to watch as his partner delicately tucked the doll safely into an inside pocket of his jacket before silently sitting down. Turning his gaze back to Jessie’s expectant eyes and the fucking temptation of that doll, Reno released a puff of harsh air before grabbing a doll for himself and collapsing into the chair of the desk beside Rude’s. (But his hands were gentle as they set the doll on the desk before him, running his fingertips gently over the Strife doll’s hair, which felt like some sort of velvet.) 

Reno finally turned his eyes from the doll as Ponytail moved to the front to sit behind what looked like a modified teacher’s desk, with seats for what Reno guessed where the four main officers of the club. One chair was positioned dead center and raised above the rest, and Reno was unsurprised when Sephiroth sat down in that seat. 

“So how pissed are you that you’re not the President of this club?” Reno asked Roche, leaning his head back to look at the Soldier from around Rude’s form. Reno wasn’t **that** out of the loop. Pretty much _everyone_ had been aware of how obsessed the guy had become with Strife after racing him a few times. 

The way that the skin tightened around Roche’s eyes made it clear that the answer to Reno’s question was ‘very.’ 

He was smart enough not to openly glare at Sephiroth, though. Reno’d give him that. 

Then the man proved himself to be an idiot when he actually spoke. 

“Alas, I do not yet possess the strength necessary to risk fighting our President for the title.” He said with a more subdued version of his usual dramatic flair, “But I haven’t given up quite yet. After all, I have all the motivation needed to grow strong enough to strike down my competition. One day I shall stand victorious over all of Cloud’s other suitors, and on that day the two of us will ride off into the glorious sunset and _fly_ until we reach the world’s end.” 

Sephiroth snarled at that, hand going to his sword as he stood predatorily from his chair.

“Club rules, Sephiroth!” The Avalanche member that Reno recognized as running the bar in the Sector Seven slums snapped sharply, “If **I** don’t get to kill **you** while you’re in the club room or even in its near vicinity, **you** don’t get to kill **anyone else**.” 

“And who says that I don’t welcome you to _try_?” Sephiroth purred with a manic smirk that made it clear there was going to be a dead woman in the room in the very near future. 

Before the violence could start, a voice from the door broke in and stopped the violence in its tracks. 

“If you kill Lockhart, the rest of Avalanche will doubtlessly go down with her, and there goes about 85% of the photos, merchandise and personal items that this club is able to get our hands on, Sephiroth. I would hope that you can see the complications you would cause by destroying our main sources.” The voice informed the room crisply, and Reno’s head made an almost 180 degree turn to gape at Tseng as he walked into the room. 

“Vice President!” Ponytail greeted cheerfully as a sulking Rufus trailed in behind Tseng and took a seat pointedly away from the rest of his Turks, turning his head away to stare out the window as if he didn’t want to be there and he hadn’t just walked into the room under his own power. 

Reno’s eyes left Rufus to trail after Tseng as he made his way to the front of the room to nod in greeting at Sephiroth before taking the lower-but-almost-center chair beside him. 

Sephiroth looked like he was still debating going psycho on everybody, but he eventually snorted and took his own seat when Tseng gave him the patented side eye that had been known to stop even President Shinra from slaughtering thousands. 

“Now that all of that has been handled.” Tseng said, laying the files in his hand gently on the desk and straightening them, “Let us begin.” 

Reno watched as Tseng flipped open the top file to carefully lift out a picture- a pretty _stunning_ picture of Strife, actually, did this club make copies?- and present it to the room. 

Reno didn’t know what sort of drugs someone had snuck into his drink to inspire this crazy of a crack-filled dream…

…But if the Cloud plush disappeared when he woke up, he was going to be pissed.

(He was already attached to the damn thing.)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Rufus is very sulky that he's not even an officer of the club. I'm just... going to present everything else without commentary.


End file.
